IGTV launched a couple of weeks ago and I knew immediately I wanted to do a video highlighting my going gray journey. I honestly thought it was just going to be a slide show of pictures illustrating a year in review. But as the camera started rolling and I started unpacking, things got real. Little did I know this story of transformation runs deep both inside and out.
Do these feelings resonate with you?
P.S. For more on going gray, check out these posts:
- 101 Ways to Respond to Rude Comments About Gray Hair
- Growing Out Gray Hair: 10 Ways to Go Gray
- Going Gray: Why I Stopped Dying My Hair
- Going Gray: 3 Months And Counting
- Going Gray: 5 Months and Counting
- Going Gray: (at 40!) 8 Months and Counting
- Going Gray: It’s Been A Year!
- Going Gray: A Transformation both Inside and Out Video
- How to Go Gray: A Year In Review
- Real Life Inspiration for Going Gray
Hi, it’s Lisa. Obviously.
I thought this was the perfect place to come on and share a little bit about my going gray story. Um, I went gray a little over a year ago and some of you have been following me ever since. I love having you guys along with me. It’s seriously given me so much strength, so much drive, so much courage along the way just to hear you all cheering me along and your kindness and and everybody’s encouragement really means a lot to me so THANK YOU GUYS. This video goes out to you. I have a little bit of footage of me before I stopped dying my hair and then I’ll take you through the next year or so and then I’ll pop up and tell you a little bit more about um, kind of what this past year has been like. So without further ado..
(Cut to footage of when I first stopped dying my hair. Cover of Imagine Dragons Whatever It Takes by Kyle Wesley + Madilyn Paige plays)
“I dyed my hair maybe 3 weeks ago so now we are at the 3-4 week mark and right now is when I would dye my hair again. So I’m calling this “Day number 1.” I wanted to show you what my roots look like. This middle of my head is definitely where the most amount of gray comes in.”
“So when I am 49 going on 50..and I’m already gray, it’s not going to be….like gray will just be my color or platinum will just be my color.”
(Slideshow of going gray pics from the past 13 months. Any talking in captioned)
So it’s been a little over a year now and depending on where you start counting it’s been around 13, 14, 15 months – something like that. And I would say for sure the hardest part is the first 3 months. I’ve heard people say, “Oh I’ve tried but then I gave up after three months.” Because that’s the worst part! It’s like you know when you’re newly pregnant but you just don’t look pregnant yet and you just feel fat? That’s pretty much how you feel about your hair. You walk around and you’re just like…I wish I could wear a tee shirt that says, “HELLO, I’m going gray. I didn’t miss my hair appointment!” Cuz that’s how you feel. Like you missed your hair appointment but for the rest of your life. But once the three month mark hits and your growth starts to get a little longer, you can pin it back, you can do different things with it, you can wear hats, you can wear scarves..When I started going gray it was right before the summer so I did a lot of summer scarves, hats and sometimes I just went plain too because it’s too hot for all that. But once you pass that little bench mark, “little bench mark?” That HUMUNGOUS benchmark of three months, it does get a little bit easier after that so if you are right there at that mark, stick to it girl! You are so close!
The other thing I wanted to mention too is even though my husband was really really really supportive, um, I didn’t really feel a ton of outgoing support from like, my mom…I mean, love you mom but I was like, I think I’m going to go gray and she was like Hmmm. But she’s soft spoken anyways, she never really has a ton to say about too much so it was kind of in character for her but at the same time, I just wanted my family to be like YEAH DO IT! And I didn’t get that.
Um, and by the way, “Words Of Affirmation” is definitely my Love Language, can you tell!? You can see that need here clear as day. So I kinda wish that I had a little bit more of that and even recently when we went out to dinner with a bunch of my relatives, one of my family members was like, You know when you said you were going to go gray I was thinking don’t do it but now you look fantastic! And I’m like well thanks but I don’t need it as much now as I needed it in the beginning.
So if you feel like you don’t have that group of people supporting you, or that family supporting you, just kind of dive deep. Look inside yourself and think to yourself, Is this what I really want? And if you really want it girl, DO IT! And if you don’t really want it now, give yourself some time and give yourself some grace because there’s a time for everything and there is a space for everything and if now is not your time, that’s okay too. Going gray is not the answer to aging beautifully. There are people who age beautifully who dye their hair for the rest of their lives. And to each their own. Bless their journey. Bless my journey.
So from what I’ve heard, it seems like I have one more year left to grow out if I want to keep my hair this length. But I am aiming for December of this year. Like if December comes and I still have like an inch left of color treated hair, I’m cutting it off. Like 2018 is where its at. This is the last you will see brown hair on my head – although you can still see some brown streaks in my roots. And that’s the other cool thing too like I had no idea when I started growing out my hair that I had highlights essentially. Like it’s more white over here in the front but less white on the sides. I mean, I got to know my hair like all over again, it was so interesting to be a 40 year old woman and think like I’m getting to know my body in a way that I never knew it before and how did I not know that about myself? Like that is so weird.
I mean we are all worried about what people are going to think about us, I mean that’s just human nature so you like walk down the street and you think, Oh this person is looking at my gray hair. Oh their looking at my roots. That’s literally the story I used to live with. Now that I’m just [point to my hair] out in the open like this is me, I walk down the street and if people look at my hair, I’m just like, What. But then they are like, You’re hair is really cool. And I’m like Oh thanks! I mean not that I confront people when they ask me about my hair but I’m saying, most of the comments I get are like, Oh did you dye your hair like that. Oh your hair is really cool. Hey your hair looks good. And I’m talking anyone from old ladies, young ladies, teens…like everybody!
All of that to say, we add a lot of personal like conflict and turmoil going on in our heads and in our hearts about things that may not even exist in real life. Like who knows, maybe 10 years ago when I was walking down the street with my roots showing, people were walking by….they are not looking at my roots. BUT I gave myself that burden and now that burden has been removed. And I feel so much lighter.
Like your story that lives in your head and what you tell yourself IS YOUR TRUTH. Whether it’s positive or negative or somewhere in between. So it’s like 10 years ago when I was telling myself that negative story everyday, all day, that was my truth. NOW that I tell myself this positive story, in part thanks to all of you who have encouraged me along the way, that is NOW MY TRUTH. And I feel so beautiful and I feel so bold and brave. [Eyes get watery].
WOOO! So thanks to you guys for helping me tell my beauty truth instead of listening to all my beauty lies.
So I wrote about my journey on my blog just about every three months since I started growing out my hair. So if you want to hear more about what I think or what my journey looked like feel free to search “going gray” on The New Knew.