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So it’s been officially two years since I stopped dying my hair. And I kinda can’t believe it. I remember the thoughts I had when I first decided to “go gray.” They were thoughts about settling, “less than”, acceptance, looking older and fear. I was consumed with how to cover up my grow out and make it super quiet. I didn’t want any attention about it and I didn’t want people to notice it. That being said, I didn’t even consider sharing my experience here on the blog. I honestly assumed this was something I would just do alone.
By: Lisa Fennessy
Then one day, about a month into my experience, I thought to myself; What if I shared my story? So I did. And it changed me forever.
What I learned was I was not alone. That my insecurities were powerful but not isolated. That the simple act of posting a picture of my grow out had the power to influence, gift confidence and ultimately change lives. Starting with my own.
Now? After two years of documenting my experience I am brimming with accomplishment and BOOYAH. My fear has transformed into pride. My insecurities into confidence. And my evasiveness into drive and passion.
I know now how powerful it is to see another woman owning it with gray hair. Seeing is believing and when we have role models we can lookup to in life whether it be in motherhood, work, friendship or other women we see living happily with gray hair; we somehow know we can do it too.
I didn’t realize how simple the equation was until now. I’ve spent the last two years chewing on all the issues that come up with going gray like:
- The gray hair double standard.
- My kids telling me they don’t like the “white one top.”
- Watching people’s eye gaze drift to my roots instead of my eyes.
- Wondering if I will be ugly.
- Doubting that I can really do it.
- Getting mad about other women and men telling me; It’s not a good idea.
I was looking for answers and trying to make sense of it all but in the end, it’s really quite simple. The answer is; role models. And I want to be here for the next woman who needs to see it to believe it. I want her to know that she can do it too. I want our daughters to not even have to blink at the idea of going gray. I want to normalize the aging process. And not only that, I want it to feel really good. And the best part about it is, it’s not about speeches or talks or posts or persuasion. It’s just about being.
So I am here as a friend, mentor and role model. Just as this community has been here for me. I would be remiss not to mention the role readers have played in my experience. Every time I offered up my biggest insecurities on a sliver platter through a video, a picture or a post – you all came back raging with support. Cheering me on. And encouraging me to keep going.
Your support has been a huge source of strength. I and I want you to know it really makes a difference. It turned what felt like a consolation into a celebration. And for that, I will forever be grateful.
If you are thinking about going gray, or currently going gray or have already gone gray – consider joining The Gray Book Facebook Group! Inspiration, community and support for going gray. Support is the key to success.
Like this? Here is more!
- 101 Ways to Respond to Rude Comments About Gray Hair
- Best Eyebrow Makeup for Gray Hair
- Growing Out Gray Hair: 10 Ways to Go Gray
- Going Gray: Why I Stopped Dying My Hair
- Going Gray: 3 Months And Counting
- Going Gray: 5 Months and Counting
- Going Gray: (at 40!) 8 Months and Counting
- Going Gray: It’s Been A Year!
- Going Gray: A Transformation both Inside and Out Video
- How to Go Gray: A Year In Review
- Real Life Inspiration for Going Gray
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Common questions about going gray the final cut
It took abut about two years to grow my hair to my chin so I could cut it into a cut bob. See before and after pictures here.
The #1 thing that helped me go gray successfully was SUPPORT! Consider joining The Gray Book Facebook Group for inspiration, solidarity, support and encouragement along the way.
If you made the decision to go gray, it really helps to connect with other women who are doing the same. I have some resources listed here.