Do you have red hair and are going gray or thinking about going gray? Chances are the answer is no because only 1-2% of the world’s population has natural red hair. BUT if you are one of those people, you are not alone. We talked to 13 people with red hair (both natural and colored) that have gone gray (or white!) before you and are here to tell their story—plus spill all the tips and tricks about going gray when you have red hair.
By: Lisa Fennessy
I personally DO NOT have red hair. But I run a 25K+ member Facebook support group for women who are going gray and this question has come up A LOT. Why? Women with red hair have a very different going gray experience than women who have brown hair or black hair or blonde hair. Here are a few reasons why.
1. Red hair tends to go white, not gray
People with black or brown or blonde hair will keep some of their natural color as gray hair starts growing in. Hair goes gray strand by strand which creates the look of a few rogue gray hairs or a true salt and pepper look. Over time, more and more gray hair strands start coming in and then eventually hair will be all gray.
Believe it or not, that’s not what happens for most people who have red hair. Red hair is likely to take much longer to go gray than other hair colors because the pigment just fades over time instead of the follicle entirely stopping its production of pigment—a condition called achromotrichia. It’s more common for people with red hair to slowly go blonde and then white, (though it is possible for natural redheads to go gray).
2. Losing your red hair can be a change in identity
Some can also argue that going gray as a natural redhead is not just a physical change but a change in identity. Because people with natural red hair only take up 1-2% of the world’s population, whoever has red hair is often known for their red hair. For example we have a kid on my son’s baseball team who has red hair and his nickname is Big Red. When someone with red hair loses their red hair, it can be a lot to work through.
3. A lack of role models or public examples
Lastly, what makes going gray as a natural redhead even more challenging is the lack of role models both from public examples and peers. Because there is such a small population of people with red hair—and an even smaller population of women who have red hair and want to go gray—it can literally feel like there is no one to look up to for inspiration and guidance.
If you feel that way too, this blog post is a good place to start. It’s a collection of personal stories from people who have stopped dying their natural red hair. It’s their tips and tricks and mistakes and successes all compiled here for your inspiration. A resource for redheads by redheads—if you will.
Lastly, this is not to exclude women who have colored their hair red and are now going gray. We have those stories too. Keep scrolling!
Going gray with natural red hair
Here are the stories (with before and after pics!) of six women with naturally red hair who have gone gray. We tried to collect as many different experiences as possible, from a woman who is just starting to notice white strands emerging to someone who tried and then stopped to other women who have seen the process all the way through.
Cristina Boomy Cacavas
My story: I decided to go grey in 2016 as soon as my blazing orange hair started to become more of a light apricot / rose gold color. I didn’t want to be like my mom and continue to dye my hair in an attempt to chase youth. It was hard for me to embrace my new look because as a model in the 90s in Italy, my look was my currency.
Now, my hair is growing in silver on the top and red in the back. And I guess my red hair remains noticeable because people still call me “the Irish one”. I’ll be 50 this summer and I’m feeling so free of any misconceptions regarding aging. I didn’t think this was possible. I also feel lucky because my boyfriend (now husband) has supported me every step of the way.
My going grey tip for people with naturally red hair: As a natural redhead you cannot really do too much to push the process. I know this because I tried to put some grey on my natural red hair to hurry things along and my hair became almost a green copper color and it made a demarcation line too—which I didn’t have before! My advice to the women that are starting today is to let your hair simply grow and trim it a little bit monthly.
How I went gray: I didn’t do any fancy techniques or use any color to go gray. But what I did try is blue conditioner—which I did not see a massive change.
What surprised me: A lot of beautiful (and even young women) give me compliments about my hair. My look even inspired someone to go grey themselves!
My current hair routine: I use Kitsch and Reverie shampoo as well as organic castor oil. And for styling, I diffuse my hair in winter and let my hair dry naturally in the summer.
Karen Lamy
My story: I am a natural redhead. At the age of 61, I dyed my hair for the last time—just before my son’s wedding. Before that I had been dying my hair for about 30 years.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was seeing that the hair dye was not covering my whites like it used to. Within a week, my sideburns would be white even though my stylist took extra care to cover them.
How I went gray: I opted for a short pixie cut and everyone thought it was a great cut for me. I prefer my hair a little longer than a short pixie, but I’ve had short hair since high school so I’m used to it.
What surprised me: The color and the texture. I knew I had white hair under the dye, but I wasn’t aware that I still had so much of my auburn hair. My remaining red hair is dark on the sides and back, but strawberry blonde on top. I thought the strawberry blond was yellowing from the sun, but it is actually bits of my natural hair that has faded. I hope it is on its way to white because I do not like the yellow at all.
That was a surprise because I have many relatives that have snow white hair all over and I thought I would be the same as them. I’m hoping my hair will eventually be like theirs.
I also found that the texture of my hair is much better without the dye. It has always been thick and coarse but now that I’ve stopped dying my hair it’s a lot softer.
Where I am now: Still a work in progress. I got a cut yesterday and my stylist went way too short for me so I’m not too happy right now. The good thing is my hair grows quickly so in a couple of weeks it will be fine.
Julie Hoffman
My story: I was born a redhead and started graying in my early twenties, just like my Dad. I highlighted my hair for a while until it just made me look blonde. Then I used henna on it for about 10 years. Henna gave me more of a vibrant look than my natural red and I found it too artificial. It is very hard to get that natural red look and even if you do, it just washes right out because redheads tend to have more coarse hair that doesn’t hold onto color.
I became tired of the upkeep, as I had to do root touch ups every 2 1/2 weeks and decided to take the plunge and see what my REAL hair actually looked like so I stopped dying my hair at the age of 41.
What surprised me: The color! It is super white but most people think that it’s blonde because I’m 45 and I still have a little red sprinkled in here and there.
My going gray tip for people with naturally red hair: The only tip I have is to trust the process! The grow out was painful but I don’t regret my decision.
Where I am now: I do have days where I miss my red hair. As a redhead your hair color is a huge part of your identity because it’s so unique, but I just tell myself that this is who I am now. I’m content in feeling authentic to myself and am happy to go against the grain in certain aspects of my life. Women are much more than their youth, or appearance of youth. Screw the beauty industry that tries to tell us otherwise!
Jennifer Cook
My story: I have lots of feelings about going gray. Mostly that I didn’t like it and I have actually gone back to my red hair after over a year of trying to go gray. This is how I got there…
I stopped dying my hair in the summer of 2022. After that I grew out my hair until I chopped it in February of 2023.
I felt like I had to keep it short. So I kept getting cuts that were always a pixie. I played with styling it when it would grow out a bit but I couldn’t do anything with it and I looked like a shaggy mess—so I would get a cut and hate it all over again. This was the whole year.
That’s when I decided to go back and re-color my hair.
What surprised me: I decided to try to embrace my gray at 50. I was sure my hair was going to be white because of my mama’s gorgeous snow white hair…it was not. It was white at the temples and hairline, a very dark brown in the back and a dingy gray everywhere else. I felt as if I had no idea who I was looking at in the mirror. I really tried to like it, but I felt my entire personality was gone without my flaming locks.
My mistake: Cutting my hair from my mid back to a pixie. PLEASE NEVER DO THIS!!!! I had no idea what to do with my new short hair.
My going gray tip for people with naturally red hair: Keep your colorist’s number handy. You very well may NEED your color back to feel like YOU. Also, bandanas and hats!
Where I am now: I love doing a full foil (or lowlights). It’s a great option for me because every single hair hasn’t been colored. It allows some of the grey to pop through, but you are retaining the majority of the color you like. I won’t ever do a one flat color or a box color ever again. The dimension you get with the full foil or all over lowlights looks the best and most natural.
I have done this twice now and I will probably continue until I am at least 65. Fifty was way too early for me…
One last little thing. My mama, who is my best friend, said that she noticed a difference in my personality after the big chop. She said it was gradual, but she said she knew I wasn’t happy with my look. She said I literally slowed down. I went from being bouncy all the time to moving at a slower pace and I didn’t smile as often or the same. I told her I lost myself and who I am at my core.
Molly Spurlock
My story: I’m 39 and recently noticed my hair starting to turn white.
My going gray tip for people with naturally red hair: I wish I had some tips but I don’t! I’m always scouring the internet and social media for information dedicated to redheads, but I haven’t had any luck finding any resources.
Where I am now: People with red hair are in a unique situation because there aren’t many redheads I can chat with about losing our red hair. It’s also a bit of a mental challenge since my red hair has always been a big part of who I am. I’ve never dyed my hair before and I’m not keen on starting now, but it’s been tough not having a group of fellow redheads to talk to about this change.
Kimberly Becker
My story: In a nutshell, I was born a redhead, then I stopped dying my hair in my early 40s and then I started dying my hair again at 47. I started dying my hair again after thinking that I needed to have more highlights. My goal with adding highlights back in was to help tone down the yellow/brassy tinge to my hair.
Why I started dying my hair in the first place: After having red hair my entire life, I started to notice my hair wasn’t so red anymore. Instead of it growing in red, it was growing in gray and kind of a mousey brown. I could not accept that. I’m way too special to just have brown hair ; ) So I started dying my hair to get back to being a redhead (my TRUE self).
What surprised me: The texture change. My hair was curlier when I was highlighting it and once the highlights grew out, it was not only mousey brown but also kind of frizzy / straight. This meant I had to spend more time fixing it. Which meant putting heat on it, and then at some point I thought, “Well, if I’m putting heat on it everyday or if I’m putting chemicals on it every 8 weeks, then what’s the difference?!” So that was another reason I decided to color my hair again.
Going gray was not easy: I had a traumatic experience when a family member didn’t recognize me (which is ironic since she has had a lot of plastic surgery and is actually the unrecognizable one). She gasped and said, “KIM WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?” And then my husband tried to talk for me, saying, “I like her hair natural and gray”—and she just refused to believe it. I was very very angry about that response. I wanted to say WHY DO YOUR LIPS LOOK LIKE THAT and shame her for the very unnatural thing she had done. But I couldn’t muster up the courage, so now I just talk about her behind her back (obvi).
Going gray with dyed red hair
Here are the stories (with before and after pics!) of 7 women who colored their hair red and are now going gray. We tried to collect as many different experiences as possible, from women of different ages, to those who are at different stages of going gray and those who used different approaches—like chopping it, dying it to match your natural color, bleaching out the dyed bits and more.
Amanda Keats
My story: I started my grey journey when I was 56 after I had a brain tumor removed. My head was shaved on the right side and I wasn’t able to use henna on the 60 staples in my skull. When they were removed, I decided to leave my hair to go natural.
What surprised me: It has now been six years and my hair is thicker and in better condition than ever before.
The hardest part: I struggled with the skunk look for a few months and the brassy orange was harsh at times. It took about 18 months to fully transition to gray. It was more an acceptance of the aging process and a journey into becoming a more authentic me. I felt a bit radical and badass, especially having also gone through brain surgery.
My going gray tip for people who dye their hair red: Be patient, trust the process and accept this part of your natural journey through life. You have earned each and every one of those gray hairs.
Where I am now: I like the unique blend of colors in my hair nowadays and I’ve been told by hairdressers that, however hard they try, they can never achieve the blend of natural grays with hair dyes.
Gale Roanoake
My story: I’m on my second time of trying to go gray! The first time I tried I was 66 and I didn’t even last 3 months. This time I am 70 and I’m committed!
Where I am now: I have only started my transition. My last color (henna) was 3 months ago.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: The first time I tried going gray, I couldn’t get past the fact that my hair looked incredibly mousy compared to my vibrant red colored hair. I learned that this is normal and the best thing to do is to be patient and give it time.
Kim Herman
My story: My hair started going grey when I was 18 and by the time I graduated from college, I was coloring my hair regularly. At 43 my vitamin regimen was causing my hair to grow so fast that my roots were not lasting more than a few weeks. So that’s when I decided to go grey. I’m 45 now and wish that I had done it sooner. It’s been so freeing!
How I went gray: I decided to go the bleach and tone route. After growing my hair out for a few months (so that my colorist could see the natural color), I had it stripped and toned to match up to my roots. This allowed me to go gray without having to deal with the demarcation line that I knew would cause me to start coloring my hair again. I went back every eight weeks to have it toned. I just cut the last of the bleached hair out earlier this year. It took 18 months, and I am so happy!
My biggest going gray challenge: Rediscovering what colors looked good on me. I changed my makeup colors and started embracing new colors that I would never wear because they clashed with my hair.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: Go gray in whatever way that makes you feel confident and comfortable. The outcome is the same whether you do it naturally or get some help to push through. I was so afraid that I was going to look old, but now that I’m on the other side, I look more natural and I love it! Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
One more tip: Also, invest in blue shampoo and conditioner. It makes the biggest difference and keeps my greys bright.
Cari Bare
My going gray story: I was 64 when I decided to stop coloring my hair and it was a process. I didn’t want to deal with “the skunk line” so my hairdresser blended tiny bleached segments for a couple of months while super conditioning my hair (using Olaplex shampoo and conditioner). On the 4th month I went in and she expedited the process via a 7 hour transition.
What surprised me: The texture! Grey hair is a little more frizzy so I use a masque once a week in the shower to keep it conditioned.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: You have to be committed. It was a little painful and scary but I was sick of dying it and ready to be au natural. Red hair is the hardest—trust me all my friends were shocked I did it.
Where I am now: I’m 67 now and I love my white with silver (and a bit of dark grey underneath in the back). I get tons of compliments on it and it’s really easy to manage. I bought a Dyson dryer to reduce heat exposure and I get it cut every 3 months. Easy peasy!
Lora Marie Pidcoe
My going gray story: I went gray prematurely at the age of 21. At that point I started dying my hair regularly. Then at the age of 45 I started slowing down the frequent salon trips and decided I wanted to go completely gray by the age of 50.
How I went gray: I started letting my hair grow out and then when it was at a length I liked, I chopped it.
What surprised me: My color pattern is all over the place.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: The hardest part was that in between stage. I chopped it all off at once which really helped shorten that timeframe. Also, I use a purple shampoo and conditioner twice a week to help cancel out any brassiness.
Where I am now: By the time I was 50 I was completely transitioned. ; )
Anna Collins
My going gray story: I started going gray in my 20s, and had intended to keep coloring my hair until I turned 50. However, when I turned 45, I was shedding a lot more hair than normal which seemed to be related to me coloring my roots every 3 weeks. So I stopped.
What helped me: Because my decision to go gray stemmed from a secondary desire to stop hair shedding, I was never tempted to color my hair again once I’d stopped. I think that made it easier.
What surprised me: It’s been really interesting actually to see my natural hair pattern grow in and to learn what my natural hair looks like because I hadn’t seen it since my teens. I have days when I really like it, and days when I don’t.
The biggest challenge: As a redhead with natural silver/white hair, one challenge has been to accept the juxtaposition between the warm ends and cool roots. Don’t love that. A couple of times, I had the warm lengths toned a very cool brown, which helped a little, but now that the gray is past my ears, I don’t care as much anymore.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: Come prepared with lots of patience. Experiment with parting your hair in different ways and try different hairstyles. I have a whiter streak on my non-part side, and sometimes I like to feature that. If the cool/warm tones bother you, have a stylist tone just the warm parts cooler without touching the gray. Even if that doesn’t fix the demarcation line, it still made my hair look more cohesive.
Jill Finney Hall
My going gray story: I decided to go gray at about 60. I travel a lot and when we RV, we may be out and about for four to six weeks. So keeping my color up-to-date was becoming impossible.
How I went gray: My daughter is a hairdresser so she worked with me to add toner to my hair during the grow out process, and it eased the transition considerably. Now after two years, I am completely and fully my natural color.
My going gray tip for people who color their hair red: I had my color analysis done about a year and two months ago and it helped me find colors that made me look more radiant and made my hair color easier to live with.
Recommended products
Reverie Milk Anti-Frizz Leave-In Nourishing Treatment
Om Coconut + Pracaxi Deep Conditioning Hair Mask
Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer
Organic Castor Oil
Can you relate to any of these stories?
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